You're not broken
Your nervous system just needs to grow
There’s one more part to this energy discussion that I didn’t talk about in the four part series (that starts here if you’d like to go back and read it). That piece is the nervous system and the role it plays in all of this.
The longer I’ve studied all of this (mostly by trial and error, with a number of mentors (human and animal alike) adding pieces of the puzzle along the way), the more I realize that the root of not being able to mange our energy is because our nervous systems haven’t grown into that capacity.
The exhaustion I felt when first learning to be able to focus on managing my horse’s huge energy was not fun. I had to concentrate SO hard in order to manage my energy, and thus his energy, especially when he became explosive or reactive to the environment around us.
That exhaustion was nothing more than a symptom of my nervous system not being strong enough in that situation.
This stuff isn’t taught to us as children. It’s not taught in schools. Hell, the majority of our parents don’t know it, either, through no fault of their own.
So by the time it smacks us in the face in adulthood in whatever way that looks like (mine just happened to be working with a one ton horse and a couple of mutts), it hurts! It feels rude, like a personal attack. And it feels lonely. Everyone else appears to have their shit together, why don’t I? Why can’t I control my pets/myself/insert part of life that feels like it’s falling apart? Why am I the only person that doesn’t have this figured out?
Horseshit.
I finally decided somewhere in my 30’s that no one has it figured out, and anyone that tells you otherwise is either selling something or lying.
The I’m-the-only-one-that-doesn’t-have-it-sorted story is horseshit.
But it’s horseshit that we can change. We just need the right tools to do it.
After years of dedication and work on myself, and with my horse, when he has a bad day it doesn’t ruin mine (99% of the time anyway). When he is afraid of something, I can still stay present and grounded. And if I’m struggling in that moment, too, I know how to acknowledge it in a way that helps both of us stay safe.
In short, my nervous system has expanded capacity to maintain a better balance with the parasympathetic side so that it’s stronger most of the time, rather than my life being run by the sympathetic side.
That’s the beauty of working with energy. As we learn more, our nervous system expands capacity. We gain the skills needed to maintain our equilibrium, despite the energies swirling around us. We learn to sway in the breezes and gales of life without breaking. We learn to float on the currents and rapids, rather than get sucked under by them. And that is so much easier than fighting it all the time.
Are you facing challenges with your energy management with your pets or in your life? If you’d like to explore this, let’s connect and talk about it. Leave a comment or hit reply to this email and let’s discuss how to build your nervous system up so that you can do more floating and less fighting in your life with your pets, and everywhere else.